Lessons from Shiloh…What Do you Do When Things Don’t Go as Expected?

I’ve been thinking a lot about this question lately.  Let’s face it, life is full of unmet expectations, disappointments and missed opportunities, it’s part of the journey of being human.  The big question is…

What do you do when this happens to you?

How do you handle it?

How do you react?

Some very public reactions happened recently with Mariah Carey and Adele.  Both had very different live television mishap moments.  If you remember Mariah was about to perform a song on New Year’s Eve and when something went wrong with her music, she decided to walk off stage.  She didn’t address the audience, didn’t wait or try to figure it out, she decided to walk away from her commitment.

Adele recently, while performing a tribute song for George Michael on the Grammy’s, also had music trouble. Instead of continuing, she asked them to start the music again because she wanted to get it right and honor George Michael and do her very best.  I thought it was beautiful the way she handled that (she did say a little swear word but it was bleeped out, LOL).

Then it happened again, at the Oscars…another blunder on live TV.  The wrong film was announced as “Picture of the Year”.  As I was watching, with most of the world,  I thought, “here we go again!”  As people were scrambling in the background, it was obvious that something went wrong.

In the middle of all the confusion, I thought it was so amazing when the producer from La La Land, went to the microphone, addressed the “Moonlight” people and said, “It’s you, we didn’t win, you did, Moonlight won, come up here and I’m honored to give this to you.”  That producer could have walked away and let the stage manager handle it.  Instead he showed such grace even in his disappointment.  He added, ”Hey I got to thank my wife and son so I’m happy!”  How cool is that!!  Quality guy!

In those moments that you find yourself challenged or conflicted (hopefully not on live TV 🙂 ,  these three phrases are the most powerful to say to shift you out of your own stuff and ego and into seeing the bigger picture and they are…Please, Thank You and I’m Sorry.

I believe these are game changers and world changers.  Leading with either please, thank you and I’m sorry, is an honoring of others, and when you honor others, you honor yourself.  It’s the understanding that everyone makes mistakes and within those we can find compassion, forgiveness and release the judgment.

If things don’t go as expected, maybe that is ok and something better is coming or it wasn’t meant to happen in the way you thought.  New opportunities are created.  That’s how I felt when watching the Oscars…it was a wonderful opportunity to see grace in action.

If there is something going on for you right now…something with your career, relationships, health or family that is not going as expected or as you would like, be present to the emotions you are feeling.  If you are feeling fear, anger, frustration, sadness, embarrassment, guilt or shame, it’s ok, those feelings are part of the human experience.  The question is how long do you want to live there.

The circumstances may be beyond your control, but how you react is all you.  You get to choose and remember that, “please, thank you, and I’m sorry” go a long way in not only shifting yourself but also in shifting others.

Mariah chose to walk away, Adele chose to ask for a “do-over” and La La Land producer, Jordan Horowitz, chose to do the right thing and genuinely be excited for someone else’s victory.

What will you choose?

The glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time you fall.
~Chinese Proverb~

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