Lessons from Shiloh…Expectation vs. Reality

Today, with Shiloh, my expectation did not match reality. I expected to throw the ball and she bring it back and throw another ball and she bring it back, like usual. Something else was pulling her attention; I think a coyote might have visited the park because she was going crazy smelling the grass and being distracted, which isn’t like her normally.

She got me thinking about this idea of expectation vs. reality and how often does our expectation become reality.

So I want to ask you…

How do you deal with situations that don’t go as expected or anticipated?

Are you able to be in the flow of what is really happening or do you experience feelings like anger, frustration, impatience, disappointment or sadness?

I think that is a loaded question because it is situational, some things are easy to flow with and think, it’s no big deal, when others can seem more hurtful and bring up lots of emotions. Especially when it involves a family member, a spouse or child, when you’re expecting a particular behavior or outcome and it doesn’t go the way you want, it can rattle you.

My advice is to move to a sense of acceptance of the reality in front of you. When it’s not what you expected or turns out differently, see it for what it is, without a lot of judgment, attachment or negative emotion. I know this is easier said than done!

See it as an opportunity to look at ways that you can communicate your needs better or have stronger boundaries around what you expect. When expectations are not met or fall through, it often stems from a miscommunication and/or breaching of boundaries.

At the end of the day, the only person we can control is ourselves. We can’t control what anyone else says or does, just our reaction to it.

When I think about expectation vs. reality, a lot goes into that conversation. It’s how we communicate, the boundaries with have with ourselves and others and our own perceptions of the reality in front of us.

Being able to shift any negative feelings and having awareness of where that may be coming from is huge in your personal growth. This idea that someone can make us feel a certain way isn’t true. It can feel that way (no pun intended) but in reality no one can make you feel any way; it’s your choice. Often coming from past experiences, projections and triggers, it can seem like others hold the key, but only you have the power to shift and create your own reality.

You can choose to be a victim of circumstance, the “why does this always happen to me,” conversation or you can see reality and what is showing up for you as an opportunity learn, grow and get to know yourself better.

“What we achieve inwardly will change outer reality.”
~Plutarch~

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