Coming to you today from my living room, which is filled with beanbag chairs and workout out stuff. It’s our conference room/multi purpose room and Shiloh and I are enjoying some inside time. This idea of tough love has been on my mind lately.
We all have heard that expression before and it can conjure up a lot of thoughts and feelings as to what it means to us. The past couple months, I’ve had to demonstrate some tough love with a very significant person in my life. This has been very challenging and has brought up many uncomfortable feelings.
I spoke to my coach the other day about this and yes I have a coach! Every good coach should have a coach. As we unpacked this idea of tough love, she helped me see that maybe this idea of tough love is really PURE LOVE. Tough love can sound so harsh, but pure love is from the depths of your heart and soul. Pure love is about getting out of the way of your own ego and own needs. Releasing the need to be needed, need to be loved or liked, need to be in control or to “look good” to the world.
We are only moving in two directions, towards love or towards fear. We are moving towards fear when we know we have to have that tough conversation, and put it off. When we know we are being violated or taken advantage of and don’t have boundaries. This can make us fearful, often on a subconscious level, where we don’t know it’s in play. Fear of not being loved, fear of conflict, fear of change, so we don’t speak our truth, only holds us back from pure love.
When we move in the direction of love and shift our language from tough love to pure love, it’s a different intention. We step out of it, it’s not about us, our ego or needs, it’s about holding space and holding someone to their highest, no matter the outcome for us. When we hold someone to their highest good, we also hold ourselves to our highest good.
Think about what this would be for you, is there a relationship in your life that needs some pure love and that can include the relationship with yourself. When we acknowledge where we are at and shower ourselves with pure love, it opens up a whole new way of being and showing up in the world.
So Ask Yourself…
Where in my life do I need to give myself the gift of pure love?
- Do I need more sleep
- Better meal planning
- More exercise
- More focus and productivity at work
- More creative expression
- A deepened sense of spirituality, faith and connection
Next time you think you need to show someone some tough love, look in the mirror and show yourself PURE LOVE first!!